How a Binkle is Different than Just Plain “Happy” – The story behind

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How a Binkle is Different than Plain Just Plain “Happy”
A BonBon

Lots of things can make us happy—for a moment.

• We’re pleased to get what we want—or something even better
• We really love being liked or appreciated
• We can’t wait for things to turn out the way we want them to be
• We live for the days when we know that our life has a meaningful purpose
• And more…

But some ways we make ourselves feel good aren’t good for us—or anyone else,
like:
• Using power tricks or manipulation of others to make things go our way
• Undermining those around us in petty or self-dealing ways
• Enjoying addictive habits and practices that let us escape our responsibilities or what we agreed to do
• Blaming the world for our problems and mistakes
• And the list goes on…

So a person can feel happy without the joy of your heart bubbling up. But then there’s a sense of something missing.

Binkles are always accompanied by joy in some form or another

You feel a zizz of energy rippling through you—whether a slight tremor or a full-fledged Wow! Of course, happy and binkles usually appear together. But when you feel negative feeling about somebody (or yourself) there’s no place for joy. No binkles. How sad.

Take a closer look at what makes you happy. If there’s there no upbeat energy present, no binkle, some sort of deception is going on. Maybe it’s a half-truth or fudge about what’s happening. Or it could be from a self-deception you’ve lived with so long you no longer doubt its erroneous message.

It’s your job to tell the difference between what you call happy and the joyful energy of a binkle. If they’re the same, wonderful! Otherwise, look for the “worm in the apple.” To find the offending distortion brings an unacknowledged “lie” to light. It’s replaced by a truth that can set you free. You’ll know you’ve found it because of feeling the binkles and a blast of joy.

Remember, there’s no such thing as a negative binkle. Your heart can always tell the difference between a real one and a fake, even if your mind gets fooled sometimes. Your body knows as well—by the energetic zizz it feels. (A fake binkle is draining and takes you down a notch.)

Don’t settle for less than happy and binkles—now that’s a happy thought!

*Binkle – The smallest particle of affectionate energy that’s created between two people. You can feel it.

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Put Civil Back into Civilization – The story behind

Put CIVIL back into civilization
Put CIVIL back into civilization
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Putting Civil Back into Civilization

A BonBon

It started with a riddle. Someone I greatly respect was given this conundrum by her spiritual teacher many years ago. And she would bring it up for discussion from time to time.

Like a Zen koan, it does not have a simple answer. The question is designed to be pondered until the intellect throws up its hands and steps aside. That capitulation could yield an aha! moment.

Why did Jesus go to the lowest?

There are lots of answers, and you can surely add your own:
• Compassion
• To teach by example
• To show charity toward the unfortunate
• To prove he was a good person
• He saw their need and was moved to take action
• They were willing to believe in him
• To save their souls
• It was the loving thing to do

But to me the real and paradoxical reason Jesus went to them was, he did not see them as any different than himself. He recognized those less fortunate as one with him—the child of the same God. Instead of noting their differences, he focused on their sameness to him.

Jesus didn’t treat people according to their status or economic condition. Their needs and desires were (and are) no different from everyone else’s. And they’re no less deserving of love and kindness. He acknowledged them sharing a common humanity.

Jesus refused to accept society’s view that certain people, or groups, or beliefs, were lesser or flawed for some reason. By going to them, he ignored sanctions against socializing with them. Doubtless, Jesus knew that seeking out social rejects would provoke puzzlement or antagonism about himself. But he didn’t explain his motives.

Jesus spoke often about being motivated by love—it’s the essence of the Christian message. Love cherishes what each of us has in common, no matter what form it takes—and the rest doesn’t matter as much. Seeking out those whom others dismissed as not good enough demonstrated his love of them.

Why don’t we give it a try? That would put civil back into civilization—certainly it’s a step in the right direction.

From Bonbons to Sweeten Your Daily Life or BonBons and Treats (to be released in 2016)

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Opportunity Knocks – The story behind

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Opportunity Knocks

A BonBon

Opportunity knocks—but not the way you expect. It doesn’t come up to your door like a well-bred guest, asking for admittance. Opportunity knocks you down. As you lie there, feeling beaten, you have several choices:

  • Fume and grumble—maybe even get angry
  • Move on as quickly as possible and dismiss the whole thing
  • Feel really bad about how this could have happened to you
  • Try to figure out if it might be an opportunity being offered (actually, shoved at you)

When ambushed by adversity and disappointment, you are forced to see yourself and everything around you a little bit differently than usual. You get a chance to make a fresh start, set off in a new direction—coupled with the motivation to try it.

By knocking you down, something is trying very hard to get your attention. And the harder the whack, the more urgent is the message. Pay attention! You’ve been stopped, derailed, disconnected from your familiar routine.

So pause a moment before moving on again. Take a good look at the people involved, the less-than-welcome situation, and the way it all relates to you. Notice intensely, giving attention to all the pieces. It just might be opportunity knocking.

From More BonBons and Treats by Faith Lynella

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Build a Better Mousetrap Maker – The story behind

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Build a Better Mousetrap Maker

Ralph Waldo Emerson  sounded the rallying cry for innovators: “Build a better mousetrap, and the world will beat a path to your door.” To the sorrow of many who developed their own form of a better mousetrap, it usually does not work out that way—certainly not as smoothly as they expected. The world shrugs, and those eager to launch “the next big thing” feel misled.

Emerson’s essays encourage us to act on our flickers of genius, and many on the visionary path attest to his motivating influence on them. His abiding gift is urging us to roll up our sleeves and do something about our inspired visions. If Emerson’s advice is to serve as more than glib rhetoric, however, there better be a mousetrap produced sooner or later.

At a point in my life when I was launching an invention of my own, I had a friend who was a venture capitalist (though not an investor). He told me that before moneymen like him decide whether to back a new product or project, they are especially concerned about the quality of the person behind it.

An invention or untried idea cannot stand on its own without the driving force of a committed and capable champion. Investors are placing their money bet on the person as much as their idea.

They will not risk their money without considering the advocate’s track record: Does the person have the needed skills? Are they capable of working out the nuts and bolts of the endeavor all the way to the payoff? Is this their first mousetrap? As with first love, an upstart creator cannot imagine the world won’t want and embrace what they have done—once the word gets out about how great it is.

Has he or she survived the disappointments of that naïve phase (sadder but wiser), then taken an idea through the stages to follow? In sum, how likely is the person to pull it off?

But there is a larger view to notice as well, beyond the practical outcome of the undertaking. While the innovator developed and launched what they assumed was the next eagerly awaited “mousetrap,” they had also been remaking the mousetrap maker (himself or herself).

They were becoming more vision-focused than before. What the person went through in devoted service to their over-riding mission refined their discernment and proficiency. It also expanded their perceptual lens, to bring more kinds of know-how and judgment to bear in any future undertaking.

Less apparent, the person was not simply more capable but was a step removed from their prior frame of reference. They had disengaged from where they started, to some extent, and thereby changed their long-term trajectory.

To paraphrase Emerson, “Build a better mousetrap maker, and the world will beat a pathway to your door.” The world desires and needs better mousetrap makers much more than a larger selection of mousetraps. Anyone who can find original and ingenious solutions to what people want, as well as reinvent who they are in the bargain, is sure to make waves.

This  was first published in Naked Visionary © 2012 by Faith Lynella. It has also been reissued as a BonBon in More BonBons

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Be the Kind Kind – The story behind

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Be the Kind Kind

 A BonBon

Life need not be complicated:

   When in doubt—Be kind.

   When not in doubt—Be kind.

When difficulties abound like a swarm of gnats, taking your frustration out on those around you won’t make your situation better. Only worse—less caring.

When life seems like a mucky muddle—devoid of purpose—there’s no good that comes from blaming or complaining. From dropping the ball.

All the philosophies and religious principles in the world are mere lip service if they don’t make us more caring people. Just because it’s tough to do… or rejected… or misunderstood… or seems to be futile…

That’s no excuse. No excuse at all! It’s still what needs doing—all the more so.

Kindness rebuilds the whole, indifferent world—one thoughtful gesture at a time. Challenge by challenge. Person by person. Moment by moment. Isn’t that enough?!

Stick with it—Or you’ll be AWOL  –   Absent Without Love.

– From BonBons and Treats © 2016 by Faith Lynella

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